Stop Building the Wrong Future Self

My May challenge seemed simple: consider my future self in one decision every day. But when I asked "How will this help my future self?" I hit a roadblock. I was building toward a future self constructed by external expectations—the perfect mom, executive, person. Without focused attention, I was building someone else's version of my future.

This gap between intention and clarity is common. We assume we know where we're headed without questioning the destination. But your future self doesn't have to follow narratives that no longer serve you.

The process means distinguishing between what you genuinely want and what you've been conditioned to want. I'm now checking in on my values and envisioning my preferred future self as my true self—not something I've been told to be.

Visualize Your Future Self

Start with the core question: Who do I want to be? For me, it comes back to being comfortable with myself so I can stay flexible, find joy in everyday moments, and accept what is.

Who do you want to be? What does a typical day look like for your future self? What relationships do they prioritize? What skills do they have that you don't yet possess? What no longer matters to them that currently consumes your energy? These details matter because abstract goals like "being successful" don't give enough information to guide today's choices.

Try writing a letter from your future self back to present-day you. What would they thank you for doing now? What would they wish you had started sooner? This exercise reveals the gap between what you think you should want and what you actually want your life to become.

Bridge the Gap

Once you have clarity on your future self, identify the daily and weekly actions that build toward that vision. What small learning habit starts today? Consider checking in with your future self on one decision each day. The key is connecting the big picture to small, concrete steps that compound over time.

My May experiment taught me that I needed to take a more active role in defining my future self. Building toward an authentic future is as much about shedding inherited expectations as adding new skills and habits.