Every time we say yes to something, we say no to something else. Sadly, we rarely see the things we are saying no to. The yes is visible in the foreground: the meeting, the scroll, the dessert, the favor for a friend, whereas the unseen no’s are often longer term goals.
I want to write a book, but I work on other things instead. I want to feel more energetic, but I eat something that feels too heavy. Each choice is like a fractional degree change in my trajectory. Over time, if I don’t correct my path, I don’t end up where I want to be.
Later the guilt starts. It is not that I did something wrong. It’s that I’m not making progress on certain goals.
November is a good time for taking small steps toward a goal, and a closer look at your trajectory. Two things help: a clearly stated goal, and keeping it top of mind. I am going to set a reasonable (achievable) goal and then use my tracking sheet to see it every day.
Join the No-vember: Notice, Question, Choose Challenge by picking one small goal for the month. Keep it as small as possible so you can do it on a tough day. Here are a few examples:
Eating: one fewer dessert or a smaller portion.
Reading or learning: a few minutes a day on something you keep avoiding (I just finished listening to Anna Karenina!), or one small step toward the hard thing (last month my hard thing was to think about the book I’m writing every day).
Movement: a short walk, jumping jacks, a push-up, etc.
Notice, Question, Choose
Notice. Watch where your time and attention go. At least once a day, see what you are saying yes to.
Question. When you catch a yes, ask what it costs. What am I giving up when I say yes to this? What goal does this take time from?
Choose. Make an intentional choice, knowing what you are giving up.
Your sentence for the month
Fill in the blanks for each day:
I said no to ________ so I could prioritize ________.
For example: I said no to a big dinner so I could prioritize sleeping better. OR I said no to sitting at my desk at 1:35 so I could prioritize a few jumps to loosen up my body.
At the end of each day, check in. Are you noticing when you steer off course? Are you prioritizing what you need to make a difference in your goal? Remember that every moment is different and progress isn’t supposed to be a straight line. Saying yes to something other than your goal is information you can use, not failure.
Thirty days of making intentional small choices can help you focus on what you really want. You do not have to do the thing every day to reach your goal. Some days you drift away from the goal, and some days you drift toward it. What matters is that your drift over time is moving in the direction you want. Noticing and correcting is how you get there.
Join the No-vember Notice, Question, Choose Challenge!
